Photo by Pescado
Hearts Drawn Close
[Each month I’ll present a devotion to follow your group gathering.]
Relationships can be tricky, yet women are compelled to figure them out. We want to know we’re doing relationships right. Sometimes it’s for the good of the other person, but often it’s so we can feel successful. In our minds we devise checklists to validate our good standing.
Good Christian Woman
Carve out a daily quiet time
Attend church on Sundays
Join a Bible study
Pray before meals and before bed
Good Christian Wife
Serve my husband
Hold my tongue
Offer physical affection
Say “I love you” often
Good Christian Mother
Participate in their education
Keep them healthy
Show physical affection
Teach them about God
When we live by static lists, we move according to our own agendas without leaving room for God to direct us. What if I told you your sweetest time with Jesus would be in the middle of the night while you’re nursing your baby? Or that your husband feels most loved when you reach for his hand unexpectedly? What if you knew your daughter lives to hear your belly-laughs? How would you reconcile those truths with your lists?
Discipling by Lists
Some of us have created a checklist for discipling our daughters. Join Sonflower Sisters: check. Read the curriculum: check. Attend the group gathering, make a craft, schedule time together: check, check, check. When we live from our list, we don’t allow God to show us what He wants to teach our daughters through us.
Don’t misunderstand—doing the things on our list isn’t necessarily wrong. In fact, when we rely on God for direction, He often uses the very things we had on our checklist. But when we rely on the list to move us forward and give us direction, we elevate it to the place meant for God alone, and it becomes an idol.
Discipling by Example
Jesus invited twelve men to be witness to His intimate walk with the Father. He gave them access to every part of His life—his sitting, his walking along, his lying down and his rising up. Jesus discipled these men by simply living in deep fellowship with the Father right in front of their eyes.
If Jesus didn’t have a list tucked into his sandal, then how did He know He was doing what He should? How did He know He was teaching them the right things? Because He was in constant fellowship with His Father. He was obedient to his Father in everything. When He was living the way the Father intended, and listening to the Father’s direction, then He was confident He was teaching them what the Father wanted them to learn.
In the same way, we are to disciple our daughters by calling them to our sides as we live in dynamic relationship with the Lord. We teach them by living out godly principles. We show them what is right by embracing and living according to God’s Word. When we are in fellowship with the Lord and are moving according to His will, and responding to His voice, we can be sure that we are teaching our daughters exactly what He wants them to learn.
Discipling by Scripture
In Deuteronomy 11:18-20, God shows us how, practically, to go about discipling our daughters. He says, “…Lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. Teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. And…write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates…”
Over these next six months, we are going to scrap our checklists and take up this passage of the Word as our guide for discipling our daughters. We are going to ask the Lord to draw our hearts close to Him and to work in us through His Word and His Holy Spirit. We’re going to believe that as He transforms our hearts in the presence of our daughters, He will be lead us to disciple as Jesus Himself discipled.
[Each month I’ll pose a few questions for you to mull over and answer in your own heart.]
Have you created, knowingly or unwittingly, a checklist for discipling your daughter? Ask God to reveal any hidden checklists you harbor. Repent of any checklists you have created and ask Him for guidance in discipling your daughter.
[Each month I’ll offer some prompts you can use for writing in your mother-daughter journal.]
The Lord has given an intimate look at Himself—the Bible. He has revealed personal things He wants us to know about Himself, His heart, His character and His plans. When we read His Word, we learn what is important to Him, what He adores, what breaks His heart.
Let’s give our daughters an intimate glimpse into our own hearts. Just as God reveals Himself to us in His book, let’s reveal some part of ourselves to our daughters in our journals.
Idea: Inscribe the journal with a special dedication to your daughter. Let her know how special she is to you and tell her some of the hopes and dreams you have for her.
Encourage your daughter to respond to your entries and to initiate her own. Come up with some sort of sign that there’s something new in the journal for her to read—hang it on her bedroom door, lay it on her desk, place it on her pillow—and encourage her to come up with a fun way to alert you.
[Each month I’ll offer ideas for dates with your daughter.]
Ask the Lord how to practically go about discipling your daughter. He might lead you to schedule regular time on the calendar, or He might instruct you to wait to Hear his prompting. God created you and your daughter, and he knows the way to both your hearts. Believe that He will be faithful in showing you how to disciple your daughter.
In the meantime, enjoy your daughter in a way you know will speak to her heart.
Idea: Sit down together over a mug of cocoa and share stories from your childhood.
[Each month I’ll show you how to move forward in the curriculum.]
- At our moms-only group gathering on January 31st, we’ll craft mother-daughter journals. Bring a blank journal and all the supplies you’ll need to embellish it (including adhesive). See this post for inspiration. Bring a silk flower with a ½” stem if you’d like to create a fancy pen for your journal.
- Read the History of Sonflower Sisters.
- On January 31 you'll receive the curriculum to use from 2/1-2/28.
[Each month I’ll pray with you.]
Thank You for showing Yourself faithful in so many areas on our lives. We come to You for guidance and direction in raising our girls. We believe You will show Yourself faithful in this, too, as we seek You. Strain out Your voice from all the others that crowd our minds and hearts. Let us hear and respond to your Sheperd’s voice alone. We will come running to You, Lord.
We pray this in Jesus’ Precious Name.