Hearts Drawn Close
Lesson Three: As We Walk
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them…as you walk by the way.” Deut. 11:19
Imagine a catastrophe takes out your town’s water supply and roads and you must walk thirty minutes each day to collect water for bathing and cooking. You set out early to avoid the crowds and take your daughter with you—the more hands the more water you can carry. As you walk along the way, you run into your neighbor and her daughter; you gladly greet one another, grateful for some good company, and the girls fall into step behind you. They giggle as they imitate your movements, pretending to be grown up. Then they listen to your conversation—after all, they wonder what women talk about, since they’ll be women someday soon.
Dear mothers, what do they hear? Is your conversation full of grumbling about the storm and the inconveniences it has created? Do you pine for things to be back to “normal?” Do you fall into gossip about neighbors? Do you complain about what you are lacking? Or is your conversation seasoned with love and wisdom? Are you taking time to encourage one another? Do you think to check on your elderly neighbor and take her water jugs along with you?
What your daughter hears from your mouth tells her what is important in life.
More, Faster Walking
It might be far-fetched to pretend you have to carry water, but that is the way the women travelled “by the way” when God gave the command in Deuteronomy 11. In 2010, we “walk” differently. We drive, in our cars, traveling faster and longer than those women of old. We grocery shop, attend school, visit the doctor and the dentist, take our cars to the mechanic, and purchase household essentials—all miles (and minutes) from our homes. It seems these days we are more “on the run” than ever. So, the big question what do our girls hear from our mouths as we take care of the business of life?
Are we complaining about poor customer service? Joining right in with griping about the cost of the dance costumes? Do we focus our conversations on what life will be like when we’re not running our children to all their activities? Or do we remember our girls are listening, and speak of what is really important?
I tell you I’ve been guilty of spending far too much time and energy commiserating with other mothers about our challenges and difficulties. I am ashamed to say I’ve taught my daughter that sharing our struggles (more like complaining, if I’m honest) is what a woman does when in the company of friends. Oh, that I could take back years of idle talk. Oh, that God will grant me the grace to change my ways. I want to teach my daughters that it is important to hear others’ hearts and encourage them; it is vital to speak life-giving words to them; it is necessary to give hope to friends, not burden them with mindless chatter.
Walking With Others in a New Way
It’s important to be aware of where we’re walking. Often we are isolated in our own cars, not thinking much about who we pass along the way. Sometimes we forget that leaving the house isn’t easy for some. Or in our haste to get where we’re going, we don’t think about who along the way might need our help or companionship. I want to challenge you this month to think about ways you can serve others “as you walk by the way.” Is there someone stuck in the house you can run an errand for? Can you stop by to see a lonely neighbor on your way home? Could you offer to take your neighbor who doesn’t drive with you on your next trip to the grocery store?
While we may not be able to provide the “walking to the well” scenario for our daughters—which seems rich in opportunities for service and fellowship—we can, with a little forethought, incorporate serving and fellowship with others in our plans. In doing this we teach our daughters to look outside themselves, to look past the activities that bring them pleasure and make their lives easier. We invite them to look to the needs of others, as God calls us to do when he says to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” When we include them in serving and allow them to see the joy on others’ faces, we help their hearts to grow bigger.
Martha’s Oven
One way you can serve others as you “walk by the way” is to participate together in a ministry like Martha’s Oven. This ministry of Mountain Christian Church provides meals for parents of newborns and newly adopted children during their first week at home. You and your daughter can spend time together making the meal and maybe even decorating cards for the families. Then you can arrange a time within your travels to drop off the meal. What a privilege and joyful way for you both to meet the needs of a “neighbor.”
If you would like to participate in Martha’s Oven, email me at sonflower sisters at comcast dot net and I will put you in touch with the Sister who heads our team.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
What is the biggest chunk of regular “walking” time you share with your daughter? (A time that occurs on a regular basis?) How can you prepare for this time together? How can you incorporate spiritual lessons into this time?
Do you recognize when your daughter is following in your footsteps? How do you react? How can you include her when appropriate? Brooke likes to sit with me and my friends like one of the “big girls.” I try to be generous, allowing her to stay with us as our conversation permits, even inviting her to join in as she can. I have noticed that she will assume my posture and ask the same types of questions I do when she is with her girlfriends now. This time with me is allowing her to become a young lady. But it wasn’t so long ago that I would shoo her away immediately, protective of my “adult” time.
What is your attitude toward “walking?” Are you grateful for the opportunities you have, or do you grumble and complain about your responsibilities? If you do grumble, to whom and how? Can you come up with ways to stop yourself? For instance, if you generally take calls while on the road and end up frustrated, can you turn your cell phone off while you drive?
Are there ways you and your daughter can serve others as you walk along the way? Think about the folks you see and pass on a regular basis. How can you help to meet their needs and show them they are important to you and to God?
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it and memorize it. You will be asked to recite it with your daughter at the next group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Share with your daughter how you traveled as a child. Tell her about your car, the places you went, and who was there. Girls love hearing stories about their moms as children.
Idea: Ask your daughter what kind of transportation device she would invent and why. Share your own idea.
Idea: Ask your daughter is there is anyone on her heart to serve. Come up with ways to incorporate other people into your daily “walk” and write them in your journal.
Idea: Ask your daughter to tell you honestly what she hears you say when you “walk” together. Give her multiple choice questions with words such as “honest,” “loving,” “complaining,” and the like. Share some words that describe her interactions with others as she “walks.”
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Read a book about olden-times (like Little House on the Prairie) and talk about the difference in how people traveled. How are our journeys different and similar?
Idea: Write your Scripture memory verse on cutouts of your footprints. Laminate them and tape them to the floor. Walk on them as you memorize your verse.
Idea: Together look at your daughter’s baby footprints. Talk about how we “walk” differently as we grown. Ask her what she thinks her “walk” will look like when she’s a grown woman. (This would also be a fun journal entry.)
Idea: Choose a way to serve someone else as you go about your daily business and do it. Talk with your daughter afterward about how it made her feel. Share Scriptures that show God’s heart for caring for the widows, orphans and poor.
Idea: Purchase some audio cd’s of Christian songs and/or Bible stories to listen to in the car.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Lord, in our culture we move so much, but sometimes we forget we are teaching our daughters to move during it. Please keep Your hand over our mouths when we are tempted to speak in ways that do not honor You. Please fill our mouths with words that praise You and bring Your life to those You have placed in our lives. And remind us of those You have put in our “way” to serve. Your Word says you have created us for good works which you prepared ahead of time for us to do (Ephesians 2:10); show us Your plans. We want to be a part of what You deem important. Thank You for allowing us to see ourselves clearly through the study of Your Word, and for the hope You offer in Your Son Jesus. It’s in His name we pray, Amen.
March 28, 2010
March 16, 2010
Guest Post: Making Our Scripture Cuffs
I have three children (and another on the way), and once I sewed the first cuff, they all wanted one of their own. My youngest, and future Sonflower Sister, loved her cuff so much that for weeks she had to have her cuff in order to go to bed!
Since the cuffs are easy to make, we plan on sewing new ones each month with our memory verse on them. Recently, we went to the fabric store and purchased some seasonal fabric that we love. Emma is learning to sew, and she is able to help cut the fabric and sew her own cuff.
The scripture cuffs are a wonderful way for us to memorize scripture and to spend time together. We look forward to having several different ones in our jewelry collection!
Tiffany
Thanks to Tiffany for sharing her Sonflower Sister story with us. If you have a Sonflower Sister story or photos you'd like to share, please email me at sonflower sisters at comcast dot net.
February 28, 2010
Lesson Two: As We Sit
Hearts Drawn Close
Lesson Two: As We Sit
You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house… Deuteronomy 11:19
We moms have been duped. We have believed the lie that the more activities we sign our girls up for, the better women they’ll become. What we’re really doing, though, is wearing ourselves so thin we’re not available to our daughters in the ways they need us to be. When we’re rushing around to get everyone ready, fighting traffic, and sitting in waiting rooms without them, we’re not using our best time and energy in direct relationship with them.
In her book The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson tells of a time in her family’s life when she thought she was offering her children many wonderful opportunities outside the home. Her nine year old son asked to have some quiet time with her because he was having a hard time with some friends in his activities. Sally made time amidst the chaos of the household to listen, share Scripture and pray with her son. The real blessing came later that night when she was tucking her son into bed. He said, “You know, Mom, when you spend time with me and talk to me and encourage me, I want to do the right things and be what Jesus wants me to be. But when I’m lonely or having a hard time, and you don’t spend time with me, I’m really tempted to want to do wrong!”
Think about that. Mom, spending time with your daughter encourages her to be the person God made her to be.
Inventing Snowstorms
God tells us to teach our children His Word as we sit in our homes. In order to do that, we must create sitting time. We need to carve out time for just sitting together in our homes—like we do during winter snowstorms.
When you’re unable to leave your home during a snowstorm, how do you make the best of it? When you set aside your to-do list and ignore the dirty dishes, what brings you joy? Cocoa? Board games? Needlework? Painting? Reading? Crafting? Do you invite your daughter to join in the fun?
Over the next month, let’s create some “snowstorms.” Let’s set aside time to ignore the telephone, cancel outside activities, and enjoy special time together at home. While you’re making yourself available to her, look for opportunities to share God’s Word with her. You will create memories to last her whole life through.
Extending Snowstorms
Consider making some of your “snowstorms” permanent. Last fall our family was running in a dozen different directions and we weren’t making any time for sitting together in our home. As a result, my husband and I were preoccupied with driving all over and too tired to share God’s Word much with our children. We called an Activity Fast for December. It turned out to be a wonderful month! We crafted, played games, read books, and got ready to celebrate Jesus’ birth. We renewed our relationships with one another.
When it came time to resume our extracurricular activities in January, the children asked not to continue in them. They asked if instead they could extend our special sitting time together! Now, instead of running to dance and piano and karate—as fun as they are—we spend our time writing stories and putting on plays, building boxcars and huge lego cities, learning teamwork and building new skills. And all throughout that time, my husband and I are able to share the Word of God our children.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
How can you create “snowstorms” this month? What activities can you put on hold temporarily (or cancel permanently) which will provide more “sitting” time for your family? How do you like to sit? Do you enjoy board games? Reading? Needlework? Watching movies? Cooking? Writing? Assembling puzzles? Crafting? How can you invite your daughter to join you in these activities? What would it mean to hear heart if you invited her to share this special time with you? Look for opportunities to share God’s Word with your daughter as you sit. I find ample opportunity during board games (do everything in love), video games (if your brother takes your coat, give him your shirt), and snuggling time (prefer others above yourselves). Think about a time you recently had the opportunity to share God’s Word with your daughter while you sat at home. What kind of an impact do you think that time made on her soul? Do you think that time together and God’s Word helped her to be who Jesus wants her to be?
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it, and memorize it. You will recite it with your daughter at your next Sonflower Sisters group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Share a good memory of sitting at home with your mother (or other special person) when you were her age. Why does this memory stand out to you? How did you feel about the sitting time you had as a child?
Idea: Share your favorite sitting time with your own daughter. What memories are you making right now that you hope she remembers the rest of her life?
Idea: Encourage your daughter to share her favorite sitting activities. Share your favorites with her. Try to come up with a list of new sitting things you’d like to try together.
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Roam your house looking for new sitting spots. Try to find a quiet little corner you never considered before. Take a book to read aloud or your favorite board game and get lost together.
Idea: Make pillows to pull out for special sitting times.
Idea: Decorate matching t-shirts or night shirts to wear during your sitting times.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Lord, give us Your vision for our lives. Show us how and when to sit. Reset our internal rhythms and guide us in planning our schedules. You alone know the plans You have for us. We want to live according to them. Reveal to us what we need to know now and help us to make changes according to Your direction. Thank You for loving us enough to answer our prayers. Please speak clearly and guide us continually.
In Jesus’ Name.
Lesson Two: As We Sit
You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house… Deuteronomy 11:19
We moms have been duped. We have believed the lie that the more activities we sign our girls up for, the better women they’ll become. What we’re really doing, though, is wearing ourselves so thin we’re not available to our daughters in the ways they need us to be. When we’re rushing around to get everyone ready, fighting traffic, and sitting in waiting rooms without them, we’re not using our best time and energy in direct relationship with them.
In her book The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson tells of a time in her family’s life when she thought she was offering her children many wonderful opportunities outside the home. Her nine year old son asked to have some quiet time with her because he was having a hard time with some friends in his activities. Sally made time amidst the chaos of the household to listen, share Scripture and pray with her son. The real blessing came later that night when she was tucking her son into bed. He said, “You know, Mom, when you spend time with me and talk to me and encourage me, I want to do the right things and be what Jesus wants me to be. But when I’m lonely or having a hard time, and you don’t spend time with me, I’m really tempted to want to do wrong!”
Think about that. Mom, spending time with your daughter encourages her to be the person God made her to be.
Inventing Snowstorms
God tells us to teach our children His Word as we sit in our homes. In order to do that, we must create sitting time. We need to carve out time for just sitting together in our homes—like we do during winter snowstorms.
When you’re unable to leave your home during a snowstorm, how do you make the best of it? When you set aside your to-do list and ignore the dirty dishes, what brings you joy? Cocoa? Board games? Needlework? Painting? Reading? Crafting? Do you invite your daughter to join in the fun?
Over the next month, let’s create some “snowstorms.” Let’s set aside time to ignore the telephone, cancel outside activities, and enjoy special time together at home. While you’re making yourself available to her, look for opportunities to share God’s Word with her. You will create memories to last her whole life through.
Extending Snowstorms
Consider making some of your “snowstorms” permanent. Last fall our family was running in a dozen different directions and we weren’t making any time for sitting together in our home. As a result, my husband and I were preoccupied with driving all over and too tired to share God’s Word much with our children. We called an Activity Fast for December. It turned out to be a wonderful month! We crafted, played games, read books, and got ready to celebrate Jesus’ birth. We renewed our relationships with one another.
When it came time to resume our extracurricular activities in January, the children asked not to continue in them. They asked if instead they could extend our special sitting time together! Now, instead of running to dance and piano and karate—as fun as they are—we spend our time writing stories and putting on plays, building boxcars and huge lego cities, learning teamwork and building new skills. And all throughout that time, my husband and I are able to share the Word of God our children.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
How can you create “snowstorms” this month? What activities can you put on hold temporarily (or cancel permanently) which will provide more “sitting” time for your family? How do you like to sit? Do you enjoy board games? Reading? Needlework? Watching movies? Cooking? Writing? Assembling puzzles? Crafting? How can you invite your daughter to join you in these activities? What would it mean to hear heart if you invited her to share this special time with you? Look for opportunities to share God’s Word with your daughter as you sit. I find ample opportunity during board games (do everything in love), video games (if your brother takes your coat, give him your shirt), and snuggling time (prefer others above yourselves). Think about a time you recently had the opportunity to share God’s Word with your daughter while you sat at home. What kind of an impact do you think that time made on her soul? Do you think that time together and God’s Word helped her to be who Jesus wants her to be?
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it, and memorize it. You will recite it with your daughter at your next Sonflower Sisters group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Share a good memory of sitting at home with your mother (or other special person) when you were her age. Why does this memory stand out to you? How did you feel about the sitting time you had as a child?
Idea: Share your favorite sitting time with your own daughter. What memories are you making right now that you hope she remembers the rest of her life?
Idea: Encourage your daughter to share her favorite sitting activities. Share your favorites with her. Try to come up with a list of new sitting things you’d like to try together.
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Roam your house looking for new sitting spots. Try to find a quiet little corner you never considered before. Take a book to read aloud or your favorite board game and get lost together.
Idea: Make pillows to pull out for special sitting times.
Idea: Decorate matching t-shirts or night shirts to wear during your sitting times.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Lord, give us Your vision for our lives. Show us how and when to sit. Reset our internal rhythms and guide us in planning our schedules. You alone know the plans You have for us. We want to live according to them. Reveal to us what we need to know now and help us to make changes according to Your direction. Thank You for loving us enough to answer our prayers. Please speak clearly and guide us continually.
In Jesus’ Name.
February 27, 2010
"Sitting" with My Girls: Our Home Hair Boutique
I found The Story of a Princess and Her Hair a few weeks ago and fell in love. I've always felt a little sad that I couldn't create girly girl hair for my girls. Now I'm singing for joy!
Kori shows photos of the phenomenal hairstyles she whips up on her own daughter, and includes directions and videos. I liked her site so much, I ordered her full-color tutorial book of her favorite 16 hairstyles. It's very fun!
My girls are begging for me to learn how to french braid so we can move on to their favorite styles. It's a miracle that they are asking me to pick through their tangles.
It's been a great "sitting at home" time for us--we chat and giggle and share what's on our hearts. The Lord is very present in this time.
My girls are begging for me to learn how to french braid so we can move on to their favorite styles. It's a miracle that they are asking me to pick through their tangles.
It's been a great "sitting at home" time for us--we chat and giggle and share what's on our hearts. The Lord is very present in this time.
February 19, 2010
Sisters in Action
It doesn't take much for Sonflower Sisters to have fun!
Isabella and Rachel enjoyed the recent FOUR FEET of snow!
Who says back-to-back snowstorms are inconvenient?
Isabella and Rachel enjoyed the recent FOUR FEET of snow!
Who says back-to-back snowstorms are inconvenient?
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